Feelings of panic and how I need to deal with this

This month my grocery totals are going to be over budget. I still have about $3.00 left on the SNAP card but I have spent over the budgeted amount in cash. Sunday as I was beating myself up over this unfortunate turn of events and trying to figure out why I keep going over now when the total amount I have allotted myself is only about $11 less than my previous budget. It finally dawned on me and I nearly cried. I have been so afraid of doing without, with not being able to have stuff for lunches or the kids that I have been over buying stuff on sale or clearance. There is basically about 3 months worth of staple items in my pantries right now because of this fear which I did not initially recognize. I was hitting up the sales papers and the clearance section worrying that I might actually have only the $89 one month and would not be able to feed us. This must be how my grandparents felt after the depression. I remember my granny hoarding items in case they would not be available soon or in case she would not be able to afford them one day. Clearly I did not set out with this mentality but it is what my purchasing morphed into. Here is a picture of my spice cabinet I had posted on my FB leftover group before I cleaned it up.

And this is what I said was my next clean up project, my refrigerator door

We are clearly not at the point of starving. You can see part of my fridge contents in the picture and tell it is not empty. I promise to post totals so you can see how much I went off track and now that I am aware of my behavior I will be better about making a list and sticking with it. Next month's plan will start with me cleaning up this and the pantry, listing an inventory and making a tentative meal plan.


As for this week's meals, Monday night we had smoked sausage served with some corn on the cob from my produce haul as well as the last of the fresh green beans. Last night I made fish fillets for us adults and fish sticks for Logan which I served with homemade shells and cheese. This used up the last of shell noodles I had as well as the rest of the velveeta. I have a very small amount of whipping cream left which I found on clearance for 50 cents a container. Tonight I have been thinking about what to make with the leftover smoked sausage. There are a couple of recipes that I usually make, they are either Creamy spinach and sausage or Joleans cheese potato and smoked sausage. I do not have any russet type potatoes and we had pasta last night so I am trying to come up with something else. Will probably peruse pinterest for a bit and see if anything different comes up.