Feelings

In my effort to be honest with myself and forgive myself this year I am going to document some of the feelings/thoughts I have that I usually hold against myself.

Earlier this week I went through the usual evening routine. I got off work, called Phillip to let him know I was on my way to pick up the boys and make sure he was on his way home and not on a late call. I then picked up the kids, chatted with the sitter and then headed home. Once home we unloaded the car and got the kids playing and then I went to start dinner. Even though I had made a meal plan and knew exactly what I was going to cook I just stood there staring at the stove. I just kept thinking that I do not want to do this, I am tired of planning and executing meals. I am tired of worrying about stuff getting done, tired of my time not being my own. I lived in these feelings for quite a while even while actually cooking the meal I did not want to make. It passed and I then have had to work on allowing myself to have these feelings of frustration. Once I recognize these thoughts and feelings I need to forgive myself for what I consider my short comings and move on.