Another Spate of Panic

The intense sense of panic came back yesterday. Phillip received another rejection letter for yet another job which is slowly eating away at his confidence. This is a source of stress for me but the lack of employment is also a financial burden for us. We made it the first year with a mixture of his small disability check each month, my paycheck and the $10,000 unemployment that he received over the year. We found out quite suddenly at the beginning of this year that he was not eligible for any more unemployment so we scrambled selling off a couple of large items at the house to make all the bills. By enrolling in school he started receiving a small amount from Voc Rehab and we got a decent tax return. I knew these amounts would be enough to pay the bills for 6 months but had pushed this from my mind. Next month marks the 6th month since we got the tax return. We started discussing options yesterday as I just am at a loss for anything else we can cut. We do not have cable, I pay $8.65 a month for Hulu and Netflix and this money comes out of my paypal account which generally is funded by something I have sold during the month. When it is not raining we hang out the laundry to cut our electric bill. We also keep out air conditioner on 79/80 during the day and 85 at night. This page is all about how I am feeding us for what many consider a drop in the bucket. I also try to run all my errands and trades on my path home from work so I can conserve gas. My lunch budget basically allows me to eat out with coworkers/friends once a week and I skip some weeks. This technically could be cut out and I have convinced my friends to mix in picnic lunches with our days out. I trade for as much stuff as I can as well as grow some foods, participate in a food swap and a produce co-op.
Anyway when Phillip reminded me that he was not sure how we would make it through the month I went into panic mode. I started to breathe shallowly and had to talk myself down. Once I made it home we talked through some options. He is testing with another agency this weekend and will be in summer school for the second summer session so there is hope of some income. The other option was for him to get a job at the gym he has been working out at. The membership on this gym is $10 a month which could be cut out but it gives him a place to go during the day as well as a way to stay in shape. They are hiring but only pay $10 an hour. This would be some extra income but definitely not enough to pay the sitter so he would have to work the evening shift after I came home. It is a 24 hour gym so they do have some overnight shifts but then he would have to keep the kids until I came home and then sleep for only a couple of hours before work. I am not sure how long he could keep that up as well as how much sleep he would actually get with the kids home in the evening. I asked if they had something part time, only a few hours each evening so he would not be soo exhausted but still make a little extra money and we could just try to figure out the rest. The other option would be to overlap work schedules for a couple of hours in the evenings so I would pay the sitter for part time although it would cost the same amount he would make. We hashed out a lot of options but I am not sure any conclusions were reached. We also had to talk about another issue which I can not discuss yet. I am hoping it will be resolved soon so I can clear the air and we can get on with our lives.
These next couple of months will be the most interesting in our saga thus far!